As I'm sure you can imagine, it's been one of those days. Sydney woke up at 5:45 a.m. (I was already awake...barely) loudly crying because her nose was stuffy after lying flat in her bed all night. I sprinted up to the room and whisper-shouted to her from the doorway to follow me. (She and Lorelei share a room, and I did not prefer for both children to be awake before 6 a.m., expecting me to be in a good mood and to wait on them hand and foot. No, Sir.)
I like to wake up early, but I like to wake up early and have things quiet for a while so that I can drink my coffee and read in peace. I don't even like to talk to Chet (sorry, honey). I know motherhood is a 24-hour thing, but Sydney's early-morning dramatics were barely justified (if at all). I set her up on the couch in front of the TV with some orange juice, but she wanted to talk. And talk she did, for two hours until I got Lorelei up too. I tried to ignore her and just read my book, but that didn't work very well. Couldn't she just take a hint and let the cartoons rot her brain for one measly hour for crying out loud?! No, she could not. And I had a hard time letting it not get to me and snapping out of the funk that I put myself in over it.
And, yes, I realize that when she's 16 and answering my questions with one-word answers, I will crave mornings such as this.
Anyway, I was in a bit of a bad mood all morning, and after I finally wrestled them into bed for naps, I had a hard time deciding what to do with myself during this rare quiet time. I never want to clean the post-lunch kitchen or switch the laundry during nap time (and many days I don't), and my bad mood made me resist tackling my practical to-do list. I thought about laying on the couch, putting my feet up and getting lost in one of my books (and dozing...which is what I'm most likely doing on those days when I'm ignoring kitchen and laundry duties), but that didn't feel right either for some reason.
I decided to catch up on some blog reading, and that turned out to be the right decision. I read this post over at Jordy Liz Blogs, as well as the links to articles that she included at the bottom, and it was all exactly what I needed to hear (or read, rather).
Obviously, I have much to be thankful for. More than "much." But sometimes our perspectives get skewed, and it's nice to be brought back to reality, or to at least know that I'm not alone in the feelings and emotions that come with mothering children (and specifically being a stay-at-home mom).
Thankfully, nap time is a chance for me to regroup, and to start the day over if necessary. Today, it's totally necessary.
|She calls them "gobbles"|