Some Quotes on a Wednesday

Why not kick off Wednesday with some crazy kid quotes?

I've been keeping a list for a while now, so some of these are quite old.

Lorelei: "I'm going to turn down the music on Bubby's fang (thing), because it's too loud and makes his ears cry." (I think she was talking about a bouncy seat or something.  See, I told you some of these quotes were old!)

Syd: "How did you get a zipper on your belly?" (In reference to having a baby -- I never mentioned a zipper.)

Lorelei (while putting together a puzzle): "Can you help me finish this puzzle?"
Me: "Sure!"
(I start to put a puzzle piece in its proper place.)
Lorelei: "No, that's my job!  This puzzle is too tricky for you!"

(I left a pint of strawberries on the kitchen table and Lorelei ate 90% of them without permission.)
Sydney (whining): "I want more strawberries too!"
Me: "No, Lorelei had too many strawberries and will probably be throwing up later."  (Fear-based parenting can be very effective.)
Lorelei (cheerfully): "You can't have any more strawberries, Sydney, because I ate too many and am going to throw up!"
(Fear-based parenting fail.)

Lorelei: "When I grow up and you jump on my bed, can I scream at you?"
(For the record, I do not scream, Miss Lorelei.  'Holler' is a better description.)

Lorelei: "My tummy hurts."
Me: "Do you want some water?"
Lorelei: "No...I want coffee."

Lorelei: "Look, a rocket ship!" (It was a water tower.)

(Sydney, discussing what she wants for Christmas.)
Me: "Why do we celebrate Christmas?"
Sydney: "Because it's Jesus' birthday."
Lorelei: "Who is Jesus?"
Me: "Jesus is God's son."
Lorelei: "'Jesus is God's son' is right, Mommy."

We got out of the car at church I noticed a huge scratch under Lorelei's eye (she was probably rubbing her face and accidentally scratched herself).
Me: "Lorelei, what happened to your face?!  You scratched the fire out of it!"
Lorelei: "It wasn't fire, Mommy, it was Kojak."
(Kojak is Didi and Papa Dave's dog, who we last saw in August.  This was February.)

(While playing the card game "Go Fish")
Lorelei: "Do you have any Anna cards?" (this was the "Frozen" version of "Go Fish")
Sydney: "No -- go fish!"
Sydney: "Do you have any Elsa cards?"
Lorelei: "No goldfish!"

Sydney: "What kind of earrings are those, Mommy?"
Me: "They're called diamonds."
Sydney: "Those aren't diamonds, they're circles!"

(While looking at pictures on Papa John's phone)
Lorelei: "Who is that?"
Papa John: That's my brother Ryan."
Lorelei (squeals): "Ooh, that's a nice name!"

(Lorelei doesn't always say the letter "L" correctly, and never says "R," but she says some version of the following phrase quite often)
Lorelei: "I'm weewy, weewy sewious, Mommy.  I'm not choking you!"
(Translation: "I'm really, really serious, Mommy!  I'm not joking you!")

These ragamuffins (especially Lorelei right now) definitely keep us laughing!  (Well, when we're not screaming hollering.)

(Apparently, our children spend the majority of their time eating ice cream and cookies.)