I've been keeping a list for a while now, so some of these are quite old.
Lorelei: "I'm going to turn down the music on Bubby's fang (thing), because it's too loud and makes his ears cry." (I think she was talking about a bouncy seat or something. See, I told you some of these quotes were old!)
Syd: "How did you get a zipper on your belly?" (In reference to having a baby -- I never mentioned a zipper.)
Lorelei (while putting together a puzzle): "Can you help me finish this puzzle?"
(I start to put a puzzle piece in its proper place.)
Lorelei: "No, that's my job! This puzzle is too tricky for you!"
(I left a pint of strawberries on the kitchen table and Lorelei ate 90% of them without permission.)
Sydney (whining): "I want more strawberries too!"
Me: "No, Lorelei had too many strawberries and will probably be throwing up later." (Fear-based parenting can be very effective.)
Lorelei (cheerfully): "You can't have any more strawberries, Sydney, because I ate too many and am going to throw up!"
(Fear-based parenting fail.)
Lorelei: "When I grow up and you jump on my bed, can I scream at you?"
(For the record, I do not scream, Miss Lorelei. 'Holler' is a better description.)
Lorelei: "My tummy hurts."
Me: "Do you want some water?"
Lorelei: "No...I want coffee."
Lorelei: "Look, a rocket ship!" (It was a water tower.)
(Sydney, discussing what she wants for Christmas.)
Me: "Why do we celebrate Christmas?"
Sydney: "Because it's Jesus' birthday."
Lorelei: "Who is Jesus?"
Me: "Jesus is God's son."
Lorelei: "'Jesus is God's son' is right, Mommy."
We got out of the car at church I noticed a huge scratch under Lorelei's eye (she was probably rubbing her face and accidentally scratched herself).
Me: "Lorelei, what happened to your face?! You scratched the fire out of it!"
Lorelei: "It wasn't fire, Mommy, it was Kojak."
(Kojak is Didi and Papa Dave's dog, who we last saw in August. This was February.)
(While playing the card game "Go Fish")
Lorelei: "Do you have any Anna cards?" (this was the "Frozen" version of "Go Fish")
Sydney: "No -- go fish!"
Sydney: "Do you have any Elsa cards?"
Lorelei: "No goldfish!"
Sydney: "What kind of earrings are those, Mommy?"
Me: "They're called diamonds."
Sydney: "Those aren't diamonds, they're circles!"
(While looking at pictures on Papa John's phone)
Lorelei: "Who is that?"
Papa John: That's my brother Ryan."
Lorelei (squeals): "Ooh, that's a nice name!"
(Lorelei doesn't always say the letter "L" correctly, and never says "R," but she says some version of the following phrase quite often)
Lorelei: "I'm weewy, weewy sewious, Mommy. I'm not choking you!"
(Translation: "I'm really, really serious, Mommy! I'm not joking you!")
These ragamuffins (especially Lorelei right now) definitely keep us laughing! (Well, when we're not