Friday, April 4, 2014

Wherein She Deserves Both a Medal and a Spot in the Looney Bin

This morning I decided to find and explore the nearby library for the first time (hence "find" the library). Since we live in Fancy Pants Washington D.C. now, going to the library requires parking in a parking garage (be careful not to park in the 1-hour Harris Teeter metered parking spots!); convenient if you need to head over to the fine wine store after receiving your weekly Botox treatment, all in the same shopping center.

I'm a little crabby today, which makes me all judgy and as if everything around me is precocious. (Harris Teeter is a little precocious though.)

I'm crabby because...well, I'm not sure why. Yesterday felt like eternity, and I'm short on patience (not fun when you needs loads of patience in order to adequately care for three little admirals). I knew if we didn't get out of the house this morning, history would repeat itself. 

The library was fairly uneventful. There is a children's story hour a couple of times a week (not today), and a children's section, but not the most impressive one I've ever seen (I like when libraries seal off their children's areas, preferably with sound-proof walls -- otherwise you get the stink-eye from the patrons who seem surprised and ticked to see scores of pre-nap children there at 10 a.m.). But it WAS a really nice library. And the girls were well-behaved. Bubby was asleep in the carrier strapped to me, so other than preventing me from achieving full range of motion, his presence was a non-issue.

I got myself a library card, checked out a book for myself and two DVDs for the girls (what TV ban?), and we headed to the precocious Harris Teeter. (We really needed eggs, and I sort of wanted to see what all of the fuss was about.)

It was expensive, as I imagined. It pains me to buy run-of-the-milk grocery items in stores like that (canned soup and Tostitos, for example), but I usually love the produce section, the bakery, and the deli olives they will undoubtedly carry. Here's what we bought: a rotisserie chicken for dinner tonight, fresh (and very hot) chicken noodle soup from the deli for my lunch, two Lunchables for the girls' lunch, bananas, eggs, and a package of Black and White cookies from the bakery. (I'm not necessarily a Black and White cookie fan, but I was hungry.)

Let me just say, before I forget, that it was the best $6 I spent on about a dozen small cookies. They really were (ahem, ARE) that good. Really, though, I only had one. Promise.

Anyway, the girls were well-behaved in the store because Lorelei was glued to PBS Kids on my phone and because I was letting Sydney do gymnastic moves in the back of the buggy. (Why do kids love doing dangerous things? I know I was the same way when I was younger, but SHEESH.)

It wasn't until the end of the shopping trip that Syd started to lose it a little. She really wanted to handle the hot soup, and whined annoyingly when I refused. Then, when I was at the machine signing up for my Harris Teeter shopping card (hey, if I HAVE to go in there I might as well save a few cents, right?), she started pestering Lorelei, which meant we were beginning to make a scene. We finished up in the store and headed out to the parking garage. 

This next part is where you award me my medal and loony bin admission.

Bubby was still strapped to me, I had my enormous diaper bag hanging off one shoulder, three grocery bags in one hand (which held the eggs and the rotisserie chicken), the hot soup in the other hand...and no more hands to get Sydney and Lorelei safely to the car, one garage level up. Sydney is pretty good about hanging on to my diaper bag when I can't hold her hand, I just had to remind her not to act wild by using the straps of my diaper bag as a zip line. Lorelei was instructed to hold the grocery sack in my right hand. We made it back to the car on a prayer.

I feel like a traveling circus most of the time. I'm sure people whisper helpful things like, "Did you see that?!" after they pass us by (because we never pass anyone, we're too slow). Hopefully no one is too offended when my girls, who aren't walking RIGHT NEXT TO ME like I asked them to and who don't yet understand the Rules of the Road, force people to detour from their paths. I promise I would keep them closer and out of the way if I had another hand.

I try not to let the difficulty of getting out and about with little ones get me down too badly (sometimes it does though). I know this is just a season, and some day it's possible they will want to go places without me--doubtful though, as long as I continue to allow gymnastics in shopping carts and buy dangerously expensive (and delicious) Black and White cookies.


Anonymous said...

Hilarious! (but no doubt stressful)

Chet and Ashley said...

Extremely hilarious, now that I'm a week removed from it!